622: Who Are You Beyond the Leash?
This episode explores the powerful role identity and labels play in the life of a pet sitter. Too often, we adopt labels given by clients, colleagues, or even ourselves—like “just a dog walker”—without questioning if they reflect our full value. We discuss how external and internal labels shape confidence, pricing, and client relationships, and how narrowing our identity increases the risk of burnout. Practical reflection exercises help reframe limiting labels and uncover hidden strengths that influence both business and personal growth. At the heart of it all is this reminder: you are valuable not because of your revenue or role, but simply because you are you.
Main Topics
Labels that shape our identity
External vs. internal labels
Reframing limiting self-talk
Confidence in pricing and value
Avoiding burnout through perspective
Main takeaway: “You are valuable because you are you.”
This reminder goes beyond business, beyond the labels others give us, and even beyond the titles we cling to for security. Too often, we define ourselves by how others see us or by how much money our business makes. But your worth isn’t tied to revenue, reviews, or the number of clients you serve. You bring value simply by being who you are—your experiences, your passions, your personality, and your humanity. When we remember this, our confidence grows, our pricing reflects our true worth, and our client relationships deepen. Never forget: I am is a complete sentence.
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A VERY ROUGH TRANSCRIPT OF THE EPISODE
Provided by otter.ai
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
Pet sitter, identity, labels, business health, client relationships, burnout, self-esteem, external labels, internal labels, confidence, pricing strategy, community, self-reflection, professional growth, personal values
SPEAKERS
Collin
Collin 00:00
Welcome to pet sitter confessional, an open and honest discussion about the life as a pet sitter, whether you're on a walk right now, sitting in your car between visits or at home unwinding from a long day of pet care. Thank you. Today's episode is brought to you by our sponsor, petzers Associates and our amazing executive producers on Patreon, their support truly makes it possible to keep the conversation going, keep sharing ideas and reminding everybody that we're not alone in this work. Today, I want to talk about something that goes beyond scheduling or pricing strategies. It's about how we see ourselves, our identity, the labels that we've been given, and the way those things influence how we run our businesses, how we interact with clients, and even how close we come to burning out. There's this great quote from Merlin Mann. He once said that a lobster doesn't think of itself primarily as food. And I really love this because it's a reminder that the way others perceive us is not the whole story. So here's a question I want you to carry with you throughout the rest of this episode, and really think about this. How do you see yourself and how much of that comes from you versus the people around you? And before we move forward, I warned you, this isn't just about self esteem or positive affirmations. This is about the foundation of our businesses and the health of our relationship with our clients, our team and ourselves. A quick story here. When Megan and I first started our business, we were so proud to finally be running a real business, something that we could look at and go, Wow, this is something that we're focusing on. We were investing time and money and energy to make it happen. We were doing all these brainstorming sessions. We had the logo, we had registered the LLC. We were really doing it, and then we grew, and are growing a team of employees. We have clients who trust us, and we were building something that we truly believed in, something that we knew wasn't existing in our current market, and that we were really just something so unique and something that we were pouring ourselves into. And then a new neighbor moved in across the street, and we got to know them, and they kind of learned about who we were, and one day they said to us, oh, you're the dog people, right? It wasn't wrong. I mean, we do spend our days surrounded by dogs and cats, right? Lots, lots of cats. But at the same time, it felt really incomplete. It left out a whole part, a lot of other things about who we are, we're we're parents, we're friends, we host a podcast, we're business owners, right? We have a community around us. We love books and coffee shops and going to see different things and learning about history. It reduced us all down to just one simple thing, right? The dog people, maybe you've had a similar moment. Somebody hears what you do and instantly categorizes you, right? And if you're not careful, we can start to accept that label as the total picture of who we are as well. And that's what really we want to talk about, right? If we don't pay attention, we risk adopting the labels others give to us and letting them define our identity. You can think of it like this, you, somebody walks up to you and they put a pair of glasses on you and tell you to go about in the world. And we start viewing the world through the lenses of somebody else. Where do all of these labels come from? Right? So first there's the external labels. That's what we've been talking about here. They come from, parents, teachers, former bosses, right? Clients, colleagues, even strangers on social media. Maybe you've been called the reliable one. That's a great label that we love to have. Oh, you're the really reliable person. Or maybe you're the animal lover, the side Hustler, the go getter, the entrepreneur. Then there's the internal ones. These labels come from within ourselves. These are our self talk when nobody's around. How do we identify ourselves? These are the stories that we tell ourselves about our past successes and, yeah, our failures. Or maybe this is the identity that we've constructed based off of who we think we're supposed to be. I know a big one for me was growing up. I we used to camp a lot. Growing up in Boy Scouts, we were doing at least one backcountry camp or 150 miler or something like that. We were going out and camping or canoeing and out in the wilderness. I was a person who camped me, and I got married and went off to graduate school, and all of my camping gear got put into a storage area, storage locker for part of our apartment, and it sat there completely untouched as we went about our lives and did our own thing. And finally, one day, I pulled out my camping gear in this really nice high end and. Camping equipment. This really sweet two person tent was all moldy and it was ruined, and I realized I'm not a camper anymore, but I kept all the stuff around because that's how I viewed myself, that's how I wanted to be viewed, as the kind of person that went camping. And so as I threw out this gear, I had to let that part of me kind of go and die. I had to be fine with that. I had to focus on the other things that were in my life, but I had all this stuff around me about that's how I wanted to be identified. Some of these labels are really helpful. Labels can give really good clarity, both externally and internally. They can help us understand ourselves or communicate quickly with others. But they can also be really limiting. If you buy into the wrong label, right where you say, Oh yeah, I'm just a dog walker, it can quickly shape our decisions, hold us back from, I don't know, raising rates or even keeping us from expanding our services or reducing things that we thought we wanted to offer, but now, because of market forces or client demand or pricing or staffing, we can't offer those anymore, so we have to take things off the table. That's why I love going back to this lobster quote. Just because somebody looks at a lobster and sees dinner doesn't mean that that's the lobster's identity. And just because someone sees us and thinks, oh, the dog person, that doesn't mean that that's the full truth of who we are. So to make this more practical, here are some exercises that I would recommend and like for you to try this. Because while we're talking about labels, we have to understand what am I starting with? What are some preconceived notions or biases that I have and I'm carrying around with me? It's one thing to say, oh, yeah, labels can be good or bad, but what labels do I carry with me? So sit down and with a blank piece of paper and write out every single label that you use for yourself, both personal, professional, whether it's silly or serious, all of it take 10 minutes to do this identity dump, and then for each one, ask two really simple questions, where did this come from? And do I want to keep this Okay, so if you write down strong person, okay, where does that come from? Is that an internal thing that I believe about myself? Do I want to keep this? Maybe you have something where you write down and it's, it's, it's frugal well, maybe that came from some past experiences growing up, or some lived experiences of your own that you have. Do we want to keep this? Maybe this is what's limiting us from raising our rates and actually doing what we need to do in our business. Take 10 minutes to write everything down and then go and ask these questions about it. It can be a process, and it's not something to rush through, certainly take time on this one and really consider every single and then we want to do a label swap. So find one label that feels limiting, and we're going to reframe it. So instead of just being a dog walker, try something like a trusted caregiver for hundreds of pets. Words really do matter, and reframing these can change how we show up in the world and how we view ourselves, how we can confidently make decisions if I don't view myself as a trusted caregiver for hundreds of pets and humans, it's more difficult for me to institute changes to my business. If I'm quote, just a dog walker, well, then it seems really insignificant to what I do, doesn't it kind of downplays everything that I believe and think about. All of my hard work gets written off in one phrase of just that's a word that we really try to avoid as much as possible when describing scenarios, situations and people, just takes out of this whole thing and just cram, crams it down into a super and oversimplified description. After we've done the 10 Minute identity dump and the label swap, then we're going to talk about a secret identity list three to five qualities, skills or passions that no one would know just from your job title. This is so I love this one so much. Take your job title, whatever it is, and then risk three to five things that don't fit
Collin 09:41
that at all. Maybe, right, you're an artist, maybe you're great at organizing, maybe you're a natural encourager and go getter there. Then think about how those things influence your business and your life, even if they don't show up on a business card. When we hand that business card to somebody, right, we go to. Networking Event. Everyone goes, What's your business card? Okay, first off, sure, have some physical ones, but also use an app, like I love to use the app blink, where you can put in it's a digital card, and they scan a QR code on your phone. That way, it's always with you play around with what you call yourself on there, but these things that don't show up there, that you're not sending out in a business card or on an email footer or whatever that is the signature area. What about you makes you you? It's more than your job title. It really and truly is to wear all those qualities and then link them to things that you do every day, because I promise you that they show up. And here's the thing, when we stop feeding those skills, those qualities, those passions, when we stop investing into those it impacts the rest of our life. And everything that flows from us becomes impacted. Because if all we do is here's what happens, right? I'm a business owner, so all I'm going to do is read business books and I'm going to listen to business podcasts. I'm going to watch business things and business, business, business, and it kind of just crushes everything else about us instead. Well, I know I like to read history books, and I like to read biographies, and I like to go to art exhibits and all sorts of things. Those are areas that I need to be feeding into, in most cases, more than those business books, because if I'm not investing in all of me, then all of me can't show up. When next we're going to talk about why this is so important to not just us personally, but also to our business. But before I do that, I want to talk about our friends at Pet serves all professionals should have specific pet business insurance. As a pet sitter, you know how much trust goes into caring for someone's furry family member, but who's got your back for over 25 years, pet serves Associates has been helping pet care pros like you with affordable, flexible insurance coverage, whether you're walking dogs, pet sitting or just starting out, they make it easy to protect your business. Get a free quote today@petsitllc.com and as a listener, you'll get $10 off your membership when you use the code confessional at checkout. That's petsitllc.com because your peace of mind is part of great so we know labels are important, and we know which ones are involved in our lives and where they come from, both externally and internally. But why does this matter so much? I think the first one that really comes to mind here is our confidence in pricing. If our identity is too narrow, we straight up undervalue ourselves. But if we see ourselves as a whole, person with years of experience, tons of education, all of the skills, it gets easier and easier to set fair rates and then stand by them. We're not just charging for, quote, walking a dog. We're charging for our expertise, our reliability and our care. Think of it. The more experience that you get, the better a job you will do, which means that it looks easier to people on the outside. You'll make it look flawless. What we love to do, right? We love to watch gymnastics, swimming. We love to watch all the Olympic sports. Every every time that those are on, we're always watching them. And, man, they make it look easy. I'm so convinced I could do almost all of those events on the screen, but I know right this, I would love to see a time where they put an average person in the furthest lane and let everybody else do the swimming, just to give some perception and scope of the true skill going on in the pool, right? But we convince ourselves, because it looks easy, they make it look flawless. When we do the same in our business, we discount ourselves without how flawless and how easy it can come to us. It's what it's second nature, or, Oh, I just do this, but to somebody else, a client, a potential client, looking in what you provide is an immense value, something they can't find anywhere else. And that is worth a lot. It's worth a lot of peace of mind, time, energy, frustration, and yes, it's worth a lot of money. So when we can frame ourselves appropriately, we can frame our business and our services appropriately as well. So we can charge appropriately. The second thing that this impacts are our client relationships. Clients pick up on authenticity, and when they know more about who we are beyond just quote the sitter, they're more likely to trust us. They'll more likely to stick around long term, and yes, recommend us to other people. And this certainly holds true whether you are an solo sitter or you. Have a team of employees, and you're not doing as many visits as you used to, the more connection that clients have to you. Yes, you the stronger that relationship is. We think about it of I'm trying to build up a clientele who trusts me. How do I do that? They have to trust us. They have to know who we are. They have to know Megan's and my story. They have to know about us and what we do. They have to know a little bit about our family and all of these things. They have to know about our background. They have to know about what we hope for, what we're trying to do. That way they can buy in and they see a whole person, and they become committed to a whole person, so that when we say we need to do something, they go, Okay, well, I know that person. I know who they are, and I trust them in this decision. The third reason that this kind of thing matters, and understanding our labels and where they come from is important is in avoiding burnout, if our entire identity is wrapped up in our business. Every cancelation, every bad review or slow season, feels like a personal failure, but when we remember we're more than our role, our tasks, our admin time or our scheduling software. Do these setbacks then have a perspective. They still hurt. They absolutely do, but they don't destroy us when we go to set that big, audacious goal right first of the year and we say, Okay, I'm going to go for 2x ing or 20x ing or whatever that is, and we don't hit it. It feels personal. It feels really crummy and bad, because we have failed. I have failed to hit that. But that's not all of who I am. We also got to do all sorts of things, or I learned a new language, or I got to try a new class, or I got to try this other stuff. There's a whole other me that exists outside of that, and when we have that right perspective about who we are and what we're capable of, the setbacks, that's where that perspective comes in. Okay, well, the business didn't do so well, but man, I'm having a blast, and I'm still living my best life. I'm growing in all of these other areas. So how does this actually play out in the real world and running the business? Well, there are two sides of this, there are the business owners, the dog walkers and pet sitters, who overwork themselves because their entire identity is tied up in being the perfect sitter, being the only one right. This is where we see people saying yes to every single request, even at the expense of their own health, because they what they have to quote, have to it's a must. The pet was so cute, the client said, please. And it hurt my heart. I had to do it. This is leaving out all of the other things, because the other side of this is a sitter, a dog walker, who does the opposite. They set boundaries. They hire when necessary. They make sustainable choices because that they know that they are more than just their role. It gives us reasons to say yes and reasons to say no. When we say no to something I'm saying, what you're asking me is not valuable enough for me to do for XYZ reasons. Oh, you want me to be over at your house at midnight to walk your dog? Well, no, because I want sleep, because tomorrow morning I'm doing things with my family, and that's important to me.
Collin 18:32
When we don't understand and we don't have that right perspective of us being a whole person, and we only say yes or focus on one particular aspect of it, it means that we cut out everything else at the expense of ourselves. And this isn't just unique to pet care, right? Teachers who can't separate themselves from their classroom. There are chefs who feel worthless without a packed restaurant, artists who don't know who they are without an audience. The struggle with identity runs across professions, and at its core, we don't know who we are, and this is especially insidious in people who are successful because they're successful in running the business, they're successful in getting the clients, they're successful in whatever that is. We have that success. You're running a business, right? You may have the best year ever. You may be getting more clients. You may be having success for the first time, or for the millionth time. When we're successful this kind of what it goes to our head, it means that, oh, man, I really am the person. I really know what I'm talking about. I really got it. And our whole identity begins to shape around the thing that we're successful of. And we we think that that's who we are, and everything and everything else just kind of goes by the wayside, and we only become known as that one thing, both internally and externally. But this brings me to the shift that we need to make. We often hear things like charge your worth, but I think that's incomplete. Our. Worth isn't tied to revenue or client counts or social media likes. It's certainly not tied to social media likes. Instead, it's this, you are valuable because you are you. I'm going to say that one more time, you are valuable because you are you. Yeah, your business is important. You serve a lot of people. You help a lot of people, you help a lot of pets. You bring people together in community, you give people peace of mind, all of those things. Your business is important, but it's not the total measure of your worth, your humanity, your whole self, is what makes you valuable, and that's what your clients, pets, your family, your community, really benefit from when we embrace that everybody benefits. This is a good reminder that the sentence I am is a complete sentence. There's nothing that needs to be added to that sentence to make it any more complete, any more valuable, any more worth saying. So when we can look, and this is hard right, wake up, go to the mirror, or even right now, go over to your mirror. Pull the tool down your visor, look in your side mirror. If you're in the car, make sure you're pulled over and safe. Or if you're home, find a mirror. Pull up yourself a camera. Stare at the person that's staring back at you and say, I am that's you valuable because of who you are. So here's a bit of a challenge for you this week, work through those three reflection exercises that I talked about earlier, then pick one label that you've reframed and share it out. Shoot us an email, or connect with us on Instagram or Facebook at Pet Sitter confessional, use the hashtag more than a pet sitter, and we'll celebrate together. We'd love to hear what you've come up with, because when we start reshaping our labels, we reshape how we show up in our business and our lives. Remember, people will label you. It's unavoidable. It's going to happen, but you get to choose how you accept it, how you reject it, and how you reshape it. A healthier self image leads to a stronger business because of the decisions that we're making, it leads to deeper client trust and a much more balanced and healthier life. Remember the lobster, it doesn't see itself as food, and you, you get to decide how you see yourself. Thank you so much for listening today. If this show has been valuable to you or any of the other shows that we've done, share it with a friend, another pet sitter or colleague, and consider supporting the show on Patreon. It really does help keep the show going. We also want to thank pet sitters associates for sponsoring today's episode again. Thank you for listening. We'll see you again soon.
